As my free time became less and less, I knew I needed to prioritize how I spent that time. Today, I am much better at saying no without feeling guilty.
If you find yourself in the same (or similar) situation, here are a few guidelines to help you say no.
Determine your values and let them guide your decisions – Give some thought to what’s important to you, and how you want to spend your free time. If you are asked to support projects, activities or are invited to an outing that doesn’t align with your values, say no. Commit to things that support your values.
Don’t say yes immediately – Ask for some time to think about the opportunity before saying yes. As you evaluate it, think about how much of your time you will need to invest taking into consideration other commitments such as work and family. If the opportunity doesn’t align with your values, it’s okay to say no immediately.
Don’t over apologize or give a list of explanations – Politely say no, apologize once and leave it at that. Also, don’t feel like you have to provide a list of explanations. A simple statement is more powerful than waffling. “I’m sorry I can’t volunteer to be part of the committee. I am working a lot of long hours.”
Define the number of opportunities you can support – No one knows better than you what’s best for you and your family. Decide how many opportunities you can support and stick with it. Make sure they align with your values and really evaluate how much of a time commitment the opportunity will be.
Nothing is worse than agreeing to a commitment only to ask yourself later, “why did I agree to do this?” With a little up front planning to determine your values, you’ll never be guilted into doing something you don’t want to do.
What are your strategies for saying no?
Great post! Saying no is probably the one thing that I struggled with the most when my son was growing up. I am a pretty social person and was a very involved parent. I also worked full time. I chaired many school events and did them well. Once you get that reputation, you are asked to do everything LOL. It began to interfere with my family time after a while. So I set priorities. I only helped with one project at a time, and tried to only do projects that would include spending time with my son. This strategy helped lower my stress and gave me more quality time with my son.
ReplyDeleteI need to practice this, especially #2!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! Could not agree more. However, I'll be the first one to admit that I have a hard time saying no. Thanks for the helpful tips!
ReplyDeleteI wish I would've read these tips sooner! I was just recently in a similar situation with work. Someone in the office asked if I could pick up a Monday shift for her (which I usually have off for school) and I felt guilty saying no to her, so I agreed to work her Monday. I really should've said no because I spend most of my Mondays doing homework all day! I should of told her I needed to think about it rather then doing step #2
ReplyDeleteThis post really shed some light on the term "yes man". At times, I feel like when it comes to work, saying yes is the only option. Your post really makes me reconsider that opinion. A really good tip was not to over apologize or give a list of explanations. That could definitely make it seem like you're trying to "slither" your way out of something. I really enjoyed reading your post!
ReplyDeleteI love the tip of not saying yes right away. I'm a people pleaser and it's been really hard saying no. I do it more now, but I am still working on it. I always have guilt when I say no.
ReplyDeleteI agree on tasks and volunteer work all the time without thinking about it and come to realize later that I don't have the time, but I cannot back out.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post!
Great tips, I really enjoyed reading your blog. I need to work on #2 for sure. I work over 40 hours a week and I am a full time student at Walsh. I just have hard time saying No especially if its a volunteer work. I would love to one day go and volunteer for the United Nations, help the poor and rescue crew in any disastrous event.
ReplyDeleteGreat tips. These are things that people need to think about and try in their lives. I am going to have to try some of these too. Thank you!€
ReplyDelete