“Mean” moms rule!

I distinctly remember the first time my oldest daughter called me mean. After the shock and hurt wore off, I thought, “am I really mean?”

As I see it, being a mom it’s my responsibility to protect her, help her make good decisions, and raise a young lady who respects herself and others. I am her mother, not her friend.

A product of “mean” parents myself, they created a foundation in me that would later allow me to succeed in life. And I want the same for my girls.

I came across this article recently, 12 ways to be the meanest mom in the world, and I was excited to learn I was doing a great job living up to my new title! 

Any decisions or activities that make your kids groan, whine or cry are probably putting you on the path to earn your ‘mean mom’ badge. Below are a few of my ‘mean’ traits.

I tell my kids ‘no’ and mean it. Even though my girls are old enough to question my decisions, I stand firm and provide an explanation they understand. If they press the issue, they know there will be consequences (and I follow through on that too).

I give my girls chores. Growing up I cut grass, changed the oil in my parents’ car, shoveled snow, dusted the house … you name it. Chores build confidence and give them tools they can use as adults.  

I don’t follow the crowd. I am confident in my decisions as a parent – even the unpopular ones. When my oldest was six she was invited to a sleepover at her friend’s house that we barely knew; I told her she couldn’t go. I agreed to a playdate, and went with her to get to know her friend’s parents. I even explained to the other mom why she couldn’t spend the night.

My kids respect me. I have an awesome relationship with my girls and they know they’re loved, but they also respect me. We laugh, act silly, and do fun things together. They know who is in charge, and it’s not them.

I hold my girls accountable for their actions and behavior. My girls aren’t perfect and when they misbehave, there are consequences. They are also learning to be responsible for themselves and their things. Recently my daughter forgot to do her homework. She tried to complete it in the morning as we’re getting ready, but there wasn’t enough time so I made her turn it in incomplete. I emailed her teacher to let her know we were aware it was unfinished and she would take whatever consequence the teacher gave her. That day at recess, she sat on the wall for not doing her assignment.

Despite being a mean mom, I tell my girls every day that I love them. Comedian Anita Renfroe does an excellent job summarizing all the mean (and nice) things moms say in a day.