Super Mom doesn’t exist: Re-evaluate expectations of yourself and your life

Many of us try to be Super Mom (me included) – but let’s be honest, she doesn’t exist. She is a figment of our imagination. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the expectations you’ve set for yourself and your life?

Balancing a family, career, social life, and other commitments made me realize I’ve set myself up for failure with unrealistic expectations for myself and my life. I can’t do it all.

I’ve been working on re-evaluating my expectations and learning not to “sweat the small stuff.” I still have days where I try to be Super Mom, but there are no benefits to my family and me when I try to be her.

There are many great resources to help you get started. Here are some things that worked for me.

Control what you can – your attitude. If you talk to any mother, you know that we all have chaotic lives to varying degrees. It’s how you respond to that chaos that matters. Embrace it. Laugh about it. Put it in perspective. Not every situation will bring out your best attitude. If the days you laugh it off outweigh the days you’re upset, then that’s success in my book.

Set realistic goals each day – I look at each day of the week and see what absolutely needs to get done and I tweak my schedule around it. A few weeks ago my younger daughter wanted to bake brownies for a school birthday treat. That night we had ‘free choice’ dinner where we ate what we wanted (within reason), baths moved to another night, laundry stayed in the bucket, and we baked brownies.

Decide what’s a priority and what can slide – Mommy blogger Jessica Fisher offers great advice on this topic. Since I have limited time after work, dinner, homework and reading are our priorities. Bath time coincides with gym class in the winter and every other day in the summer. Other activities are fit in, if there’s time, or left for another day.  

Share the responsibility – Ask for help from your husband and kids. If your kids are old enough, give them a list of age appropriate chores. This is hard for a control freak like me. You have to be comfortable with knowing that it may not be done the exact way you’d do it, but at least it’s done.   

You’re not alone – All of us know a mom who appears to have it all together. Don’t be fooled. If she’s human, she’s sacrificing something to have that picture-perfect life. Sure, I could have a ‘perfect’ life but at what expense – my sanity? my relationships? sleep?

Re-evaluating my expectations has helped me feel less stressed, happier, and more comfortable in my roles as a wife, mother and professional. We live out of laundry buckets more than I care to admit, we only make our beds when we have guests, we have piles of stuff that we move from room to room, and my house will never be as clean as I’d like it. And I’m okay with that. 

 

Do you have unrealistic expectations for yourself or your life? Have you recently re-evaluated your expectations? What worked for you?

New Year’s Resolution … Eat Better, Stay Healthy

For years I’ve always made the resolution to lose weight and exercise. I’d start off strong, but then I’d somehow convince myself that I didn’t really have time to work out.

In August 2012, after being diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure) and put on medication, I knew I had run out of excuses as to why I didn’t make time to take better care of myself.

Before then, I watched what I ate (I wasn’t strict with my diet), exercised occasionally, and never took any daily pills except for a multivitamin. I knew I was still carrying a few extra pounds after having my daughters, but I wasn’t overly concerned about my weight.

With the cards stacked against me when it came to family history and the years slowly creeping up on me, it was time to change and put myself first.

A gym membership wasn’t even an option. The thought of dragging myself out of the house at some awful time of the morning or night was not going to happen.

A few weeks later I stumbled across Jillian Michaels “Ripped in 30” workout on a shopping trip. My favorite two things about it – the workout was only 24 minutes, and the DVD was $10! This was definitely my speed.

Image courtesy of Amazon.com

I remember not being able to walk after the first workout. I kept with it because if I was in that much pain it must be working, right?

Seeing me jump and squat around our living room got the attention of my older daughter, who joins me from time to time. It also led us to having a conversation about why I was working out, and the need for our family to take care of ourselves.

After gaining strength I started running, and eventually started counting calories. I finished the first DVD and bought two other DVDs from Jillian. I’ve lost 15 pounds, several inches, and there’s a possibility I may be able to stop taking the medication, which is my main goal. 

It’s too bad that it took being diagnosed with hypertension to get serious about my health, but I found a work out that works for me – even with my crazy schedule – and finally realize how important it is to take time out for me.

How do you fit exercise into your schedule? Do you have any quick workout tips that have helped you get or stay healthy?